just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
