If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
