will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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