My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You left your underwear on the fireplace
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
