He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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