I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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