Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
