Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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