Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
