I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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