you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
