yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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