he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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