He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
