Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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