Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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