her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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