Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
