guys are not supposed to queef...right?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
