You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
