Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
