the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize