Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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