Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize