i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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