I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
