Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
