what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
