she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
