Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The beer is more important than you right now.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
