Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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