We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
