Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
