I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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