no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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