all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
