nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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