Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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