giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize