so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
