come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
