is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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