He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
