Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
