I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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