its not stalking. its research.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
