Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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