i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
