I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
