Your face is a jimmy john
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
