You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
