New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
