Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
