It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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