Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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