You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
