I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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