fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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